‘Baywatch’ Review

Director: Seth Gordon

Writers: Damian Shannon and Mark Swift

Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Priyanka Chopra, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Ilfenesh Hadera, Jon Bass, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Hannibal Buress, Rob Huebel, Amin Joseph, Jack Kesy, Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff

Synopsis:  Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchanan butts heads with a brash new recruit. Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.

 

*Reviewer Note: This will be a spoiler free review.*

 

When you think of Baywatch, what do you think of? 90s cheese? Slow-Mo? Good looking people in tight bathing suits? Yeah, all that sounds right. So when it was announced that a movie was being made, everyone acted like “how dare they” acting like Baywatch was this sacred brand that shouldn’t be touched. With the vein of 21 Jumps Street and some cheese factor, Baywatch is here and it’s a mixed bag of humor and cheese to make you want to run in slow-mo all over again. Well, maybe.

Baywatch follows Mitch Buchanan (Johnson), the hero and popular face of Emerald Bay, who along with Stephanie Holen (Ilfenesh Hadera) and CJ Parker (Kelly Rohrbach) are looking for new recruits to watch over The Bay. The eager recruits are Summer Quinn (Alexandra Daddario), nerdy but heart full of gold Ronnie Greenbaum (Jon Bass) and the disgraced Olympic swimmer Matt Brody (Zach Efron), who is there for not only a publicity stunt but to spend his probation out. Brining in the new recruits isn’t the only thing Mitch has to worry out, when drugs and bodies start piling up around the beach, Mitch gets the feeling that new powerful businesswoman Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra) is behind it all. What follows is Mitch leading his team to get to the bottom of it, while butting heads with local cop Sgt. Ellerbee (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II).

Now look, you’re going to watch a Baywatch movie, so don’t go in pretending you were going to get fine and artsy cinema. It’s cheesy as hell, but it knows exactly what it is and doesn’t try to act like a movie that it isn’t. Hell, Zac Efron’s Brody makes a joke that the villain’s plot and the crew’s attempt to stop it sounds like a TV show. Furthermore, let’s face it, it’s a Baywatch movie, plot isn’t something we’re striving to see.

The cast is pretty serviceable here. Johnson is the charismatic leader that spits out insult after insult to Efron’s Brody, and is bound by duty to protect the beach at all costs – even though it’s not really his job. Efron’s Brody is the conceited, good looking new guy that learns being a lifeguard is more than keeping people from drowning, Jon Bass is a pretty great highlight playing bumbling nice guy Ronnie, who has a thing for CJ, played by Kelly Rohrach, who isn’t too bad and is involved in one of the romance subplots between her and Ronnie. Alexandra Daddario’s Summer gets to play along with Johnson and Efron’s hijinks, but is still underdeveloped as a character, which also goes for Ilfenesh Hadera’s Stephanie, who feels like she’s second-in-command within the crew, but disappears at times and really doesn’t do anything.

Priyanka Chopra plays the villain Victoria Leeds, who surprisingly holds her own – especially considering I’ve never seen her in anything. Yahya Abdul-Mateen II’s Sgt. Ellerbee is also great in his local cop role who’s always reminding team Bayatch that they are just lifeguards and not a police force. Hannibal Buress and Rob Huebel pop in as a tech guy whose friends with Ronnie and the head of the Baywatch unit, respectably. Of course, there are cameos by Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff.

All in all, Baywatch has its really strong moments, but it all really depends on if the humor grabs you. Some of the jokes don’t work, and some really overstay their welcome. A lot of Baywatch is also a little underdeveloped, which almost isn’t that much an insult, since again, it’s a Baywatch movie – but it’s still not okay.

Baywatch

3.5 out of 5

May Movie Releases

Hello Boys and Girls!

It’s the beginning of the Summer Movie Season!

What better way to start off this run of movies than a great month of films. We got a lot of films to get to, so let’s get to it!

 

5th

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (Sci-Fi Action – Marvel Studios/Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures)

The Guardians (Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel) must fight to keep their newfound family together as they unravel the mysteries of Peter Quill’s (Chris Pratt) true parentage. Old foes become new allies and fan-favorite character from the classic comics will come to our heroes’ aid as the Marvel cinematic universe continues to expand. The returning cast includes Karen Gillan, Michael Rooker, Nathan Fillion (playing a different character), Sean Gunn, and Glenn Close. The film’s new cast includes Kurt Russell (Quinn’s father, Ego), Sylvester Stallone, Chris Sullivan, Pom Klementieff, and Tommy Flanagan.

 

 

12th

Limited Release: The Wall

Directed by Doug Liman, an American sharpshooter is trapped in a standoff with an Iraqi sniper. The film was suppose to come out in March, but got pushed back to May, but either way it looks great. The Wall looks like a tension-filled drama I can’t wait to see. The film stars Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Laith Nakli and John Cena.

 

 

Lowriders (Drama – Universal Pictures/BH Tilt/High Top Releasing/Imagine Entertainment)

A young street artist in East Los Angeles is caught between his father’s obsession with lowrider car culture, his ex-felon brother and his need for self-expression. The film stars Theo Rossi, Tony Revolori, Eva Longoria, Melissa Benoist, and Demian Bichir.

 

 

Snatched (Comedy – 20th Century Fox/Cherin Entertainment/Feigo Entertainment)

After being dumped by her boyfriend, Emily (Amy Schumer) decides to take a spontaneous trip with her mother (Goldie Hawn) to Ecuador, where they find themselves kidnapped, escaping and having to go on the run. The film stars Christopher Meloni, Oscar Jaenada, Ike Barinholtz, Tom Bateman, and Wanda Sykes.

 

 

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (Fantasy Adventure – Warner Bros./Village Roadshow Pictures/Wilgram Productions/Safehouse Pictures/Weed Road Pictures)

Directed by Guy Ritchie, the film takes the very Ritchie tone to bringing a new take to the classical character Arthur played by Charlie Hunnam. The film sees Arthur, a street-smart brawler who finds himself drawn into a battle when he takes possession of the sword Excalibur. The film stars Jude Law, Annabelle Wallis, Katie McGrath, Djimon Hounsou, Astrid Berges-Frisbey, Hermione Corfield, Aidan Gillen and Eric Bana.

 

 

19th

Diary of Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (Family Comedy – 20th Century Fox/Color Force)

Continuing the series based off the books by Jeff Kinney, Greg (Jason Drucker) convinces his family to take a road trip to attend his great grandmother’s 90th birthday as a cover for what he really wants: to attend a nearby gamer convention. Unsurprisingly, things do not go according to plan and the Heffley family antics ensue. The film also stars Charlie Wright, Tom Everett Scott, Owen Asztalos, Carlos Guerrero, and Alicia Silverstone.

 

 

Everything, Everything (Romance Drama – MGM, Alloy Entertainment, Itaca Films)

Based on the novel by Nicola Yoon, a teenager who’s lived a sheltered life because she’s allergic to everything, falls for the boy who moves in next door. The film stars Amandla Stenberg, Nick Robinson, Ana de la Reguera, Taylor Hickson, and Anika Noni Rose.

 

 

Alien: Covenant (Sci-Fi Thriller – 20th Century Fox/Scott Free Productions/TSG Entertainment/Brandywine Productions)

The crew of the colony ship Covenant, bound for a remote planet on the far side of the galaxy, discover what they think is an uncharted paradise, but is actually a dark, dangerous world. When they uncover a threat beyond their imagination, they must attempt a harrowing escape. The film looks like it’s finally an Alien prequel, and bloody. Very, very bloody. The cast includes Michael Fassbender, Katherine Waterston, Billy Crudup, Carmen Ejogo, Demian Bichir, Danny McBride, Callie Hernandez, Noomi Rapace, James Franco, and Guy Pearce.

 

 

25th

Baywatch (Action Comedy – Paramount Pictures/Seven Bucks Productions/The Montecito Picture Company/Cold Spring Pictures/Contrafilm)

Two unlikely prospective lifeguards vie for jobs alongside the buff bodies who patrol a beach in California. Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Ilfenesh Hadera, Jon Bass, Kelly Rohrbach, Priyanka Chopra, Hannibal Buress, Pamela Anderson, and David Hasselhoff.

 

 

26th

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (Action Adventure – Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures/Jerry Bruckheimer Films/Moving Picture Company)

Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) searches for the trident of Poseidon when an old enemy from his past comes to haunt him. The film also stars the returning Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Kevin McNally, Martin Klebba, Stephen Graham, David Wenham, and Paul McCartney.

 

 

What are you looking forward to?