Spoiler-Filled Review of ‘Transformers: The Last Knight’

I spoil review Transformers: The Last Knight on another addition of The Movie Pit Podcast, and it doesn’t go well. I do swear and yell a lot, so you have been warned. Also, check out the link below because the podcast is now on Itunes!

 

Podcast Itunes Link  – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-movie-pit-podcast/id1249582608?mt=2

 

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‘Transformers: The Last Knight’ Review

Director: Michael Bay

Writers: Art Marcum, Matt Holloway and Ken Nolan

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Laura Haddock, Josh Duhamel, Isabela Moner, Jerrod Carmichael, Santiago Cabrera, Tony Hale, John Turturro and Anthony Hopkins

Voice Cast: Peter Cullen, Frank Welker, Erik Aadhal, John Goodman, Ken Watanabe, Omar Sy, John DiMaggio and Jim Carter

Synopsis: Humans and Transformers are at war, Optimus Prime is gone. The key to saving our future lies buried in the secrets of the past in the hidden history of Transformers on Earth.

 

*Reviewer Note: This will be a spoiler free review.*

*Reviewer Note 2: There is a post-credit scene.*

 

Five, count them, five Transformers movie directed by Michael Bay have now cursed us been released, and I still can’t figure out why none of them have been any good. Sure, the first movie was okay, but since then the series has gone downhill. The lack of story, and really any sense of direction, make these movies really hard to follow, root for and really enjoy overall, yet, there are fans out there. The Last Knight, which is Michael Bay “last” movie in the series, is another entry of all style and no real substance.

The movie starts off on a somewhat good note setting it during The Dark Ages as King Arthur and his army in a midst of battle as they wait for Merlin, played by Stanley Tucci, who has already discovered the Transformers and pleads with them to help Arthur and his army. They do and give Merlin a staff, this beings the secret history and long place for the Transformers. We then cut 1600 years later and see Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) floating in space aimlessly only to get sucked into his broken home planet of Cyberton. There he meets Quintessa (Gemma Chan), who says he is the “Prime of Life” and tells Optimus he can have his home world back, but only if Earth is destroyed because of its hidden secret (spoiler territory which I won’t get into).

Then there is, of course, the human characters. We first meet teenager Izabella (Isabela Moner) who has her own Transfomers and is living in the fallen section of Chicago after the events of Dark of the Moon. She gets rescued by Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg), now a fugitive from the government and famous for helping the Autbots that are still around, who now operates a junk yard where Autobots Bumblebee, Hound (John Goodman), Drift (Ken Watanabe), Crosshairs (John DiMaggio) and the Dinobots – the only scene we see them in – are hiding from new agency in TRF, who are hunting down Transformers and killing them.

Cade gets involved in the bigger scheme of things when he comes across a medallion that attracts the attention of Megatron (Frank Welker) and Sir Edmund Burton (Anthony Hopkins). Burton brings together Cade – with the help of his own Transformer butler Cogman (Jim Carter) – and an Oxford professor Vivian Wembley (Laura Haddock) who is an important part of not only the medallion’s history, but why Cyberton is coming to Earth. We also have Optimus Prime acting unlike himself.

So, as you can see Transformers: The Last Knight has a lot – A LOT – going on, and that makes it an even bigger mess than it already is. The problem, well at least one of them, is that The Last Knight is adding too much mythology and lore way to late in the game. Also, some of it doesn’t make any sense. We see in the trailers that the Transformers have been on Earth longer than we thought. They also been there for big events like World War II – which of course was never mentioned in the films, especially with Bumblebee, who gets his own little flashback scene attacking a Nazi headquarters. Which when you think about, if the Transformers were helping the Allies during the war, shouldn’t it have ended quicker?

It’s almost like the film is insulting us that they think we can’t remember anything from the previous movies. Because you know, Stanley Tucci was in the last film, but is only seen here are Merlin during the Dark Ages segment in the movie. Even the Dinobots, and even mini-Dinobots introduced here, which were made to be a big deal in the last movie film, are not even a factor here. Also, if the world didn’t completely known about Transformers before the events of the first movie, how come we see paintings of King Arthur with the three-headed Transformer behind him in Oxford? It’s just dumb how these movies just throw something for the sack of story and plot, logic and proper storytelling be damned.

Yeah, I know. You don’t watch a Transformers movie for its story and plot; you watch it for its action scenes. Look, even I’ll admit, the series so far has had some pretty descent and great action sequences, but that only takes you so far, and eventually it just becomes noise and incoherent action. It also says a lot that the best action piece in this movie is the fight that’s been promoted heavy in Bumblebee taking on Optimus Prime, and even with that said, we pretty much see almost most of it in the trailers and TV spots.

The real problem is that Transformers shouldn’t be this bad. It’s actually hurts to even think about how bad these movies are. The human characters aren’t interesting enough, cringe-worthy humor and stupid – and I mean take you out of the movie stupid – puns, and once again, stereotypical/slightly racist robots that serve no purpose other than trying to get a laugh or connect with a young audience. Seriously, there are Decepticons here that get introduced similar to a scene ripped right out of Suicide Squad, which could have been fun but the Decepticons and Megatron do absolutely NOTHING in this movie. Are they in it? Yes, but do they serve a purpose? No. Not even close, but you forget they’re in this because they disappear for half an hour or longer. Also, the introduction of Hot Rod (voiced by Omar Sy) is wasted here as he doesn’t really serve a real purpose other than having another fan favorite Autobot and showing off his power of slowing down time.

But going back to the humans, Wahlberg looks like he’s at least trying in some scenes, but this could be his last movie. Laura Haddock comes off as snobby when she’s teaching her students, and while her family history is important to the film, that fact that she doesn’t know it makes no sense since it’s pretty much her job. Josh Duhamel comes back as Lennox from the first three movies, and honestly, doesn’t do much – so his character remains the same. Isabela Moner as Izabella plays the tough teenager wants to help the Autobots, but while her character plays a big role in the first act, her character just doesn’t matter for the rest of the movie. Finally, Anthony Hopkins – poor, poor Anthony Hopkins. Hopkins at least adds some star power to the film and rambles on for long periods of time giving off five minute exposition’s dumps. His role is suppose to feel important, but sometimes it just sounds like an old man rambling, which is a shame considering its Hopkins. He also has a dumb sub-plot with the returning John Turturro that goes on for far too long.

So let’s get to Optimus Prime, who has been the center of the promotional material since he goes “evil.” He also disappears once he gets saved from space. Optimus spends the first half of the movie – where he has about ten minutes (if that) screen time – with Quintessa and is gone for the whole second half of the film to finally appear in the final act to have that fight – and yes – become good again. Is that a spoiler? Come on, we all know he wasn’t going to stay evil.

All in all, Transformers: The Last Knight is more or less of the same thing from the other movies. If you’re a fan, you may like it, but if you’re like me, The Last Knight may finally be the last straw. Its one thing to make a bad Transformers movie, it’s another thing to continue to make them thinking they’re good. The adding of mythology and lore does not do the movie any favors as it’s already bloated enough with nonsense action. However, you know what the biggest problem is? Despite it being the last Michael Bay movie – maybe – he can’t help himself from adding a post-credit scene to story he won’t – potentially – be involved in anymore. If Bay truly wanted to leave the series, he would have left the new director enough room to do their own story and thing. But no. Finally, let’s face it, I can sit here and write “this movie is a steaming pile of combined shits that you only fuel by buying a ticket,” but The Last Knight will still make a crap ton of money.

Transformers: The Last Knight

2 out of 5

New Podcast – Phil Lord and Chris Miller Exit Young Han Solo; Ron Howard Replaces Them

A new episode of The Movie Pit Podcast is up!

I talk about the mentioned departure of Phil Lord and Chris Miller from the Young Solo film, and Ron Howard replacing them. Also, all the movie news of the week.

 

 

Spoiler Review Preview for The Movie Pit Podcast

The Movie Pit Podcast Spoiler Reviews is a new feature to The Movie Pit Podcast umbrella, where I – and eventually others (hopefully) – will do SPOILER-filled reviews to some of the bigger films that have been released. I’ve already done spoiler-filled reviews for Snatched, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie, Wonder Woman, It Comes At Night and The Mummy. While I won’t be reviewing every film I see, I will do a good chunk of them – again, hopefully. So here I’ll be giving you a brief preview of what I’ll be reviewing and give a little bit of my hopes for the films.

I do want to mention that limited release films, aka indie films, are not included on the list due to, well, their limited release schedule. However, I will review some of the indie/limited released movies I do watch.

Finally, you can see the list only runs until the end of August. I’ll do another list for the rest of the year when we get to that point. Of course, this won’t affect the written non-spoiler reviews, as they will come out as well.

 

The Rest of June

Confirmed Reviews:

Transformers: The Last Knight

To be honest, I’m not looking forward toward The Last Knight. At this point, I couldn’t care less about Transformers anymore. This is a shame, because these movies should have been good, but instead they have transformed (no pun intended) into utter nonsense that I can’t bare with anymore. To be honest, the only reason I continue to torture myself with these movies is because I feel like I have to, and because my sister still loves these movies and drags us out to watch them. Finally, let’s face it, I started a podcast reviewing big films – I’ll torture myself for you guys.

 

Baby Driver

I love Edgar Wright. Everything he’s done I’ve either liked or loved, and Baby Driver looks like a different beast although, with Wright’s signature touch. It also has an incredible cast, looks damn good, and has been getting nothing but awesome reviews from fans – and celebrities – lucky enough to watch it already.

 

Potential Reviews

Despicable Me 3

The House

 

 

July

Confirmed Reviews

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Let’s face it, this was always going to get reviewed. Spider-Man became an instant with his short appearance in Captain America: Civil War, but now we get to see him in his own film and stretch his legs out a bit more with the character. I like Tom Holland, so far, as Peter Parker/Spider-Man, and the fact that we get to see Michael Keaton play the villain – Vulture – is pretty damn awesome and worth the price of the ticket alone.

 

War for the Planets of the Apes

I’ve really enjoyed the two rebooted Planet of the Apes’ films. I think what Andy Serkis has done with Caesar is nothing short of incredible and I can’t wait to see what the potential last chapter of his story has in store for us.

 

Dunkirk

Christopher Nolan is back with this war drama that jumped to my must-watch list when I saw five minutes of the film in front of the IMAX screening of Rogue One. Everything about this movie, based on a real event, looks tension-filled, dramatic and an all around great film. You really can’t go wrong with Nolan.

 

Atomic Blonde

I was already looking forward toward Atomic Blonde when the cast came together. However, what sold me on the film was that first trailer that showed Charlize Theron kicking everyone’s ass John Wick style – the film is directed by one of the John Wick directors David Leitch. Oh, were you expecting me to write more? Well, I won’t, because that’s it. I want to see Theron kick people’s asses John Wick style.

 

Potential Reviews

Wish Upon

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

 

 

August

Confirmed Reviews

The Dark Tower

This has been a project I’ve always read about on the movie news cycle since I started keeping up with the movies news (circa 2005). So finally seeing it become a real thing is great, and with a great lead in Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey playing the villain, The Man in Black, I can’t wait to finally see The Dark Tower on the big screen.

 

Detroit

Kathryn Bigelow returns to the big screen and is tackling the notorious Detroit Riots. Although the film itself won’t be about the actual riots, it does set interconnected stories during those dangerous days.

 

Annabelle: Creation

While Annabelle lacked a certain punch, the sequel – which is a prequel – looks like it will make up for that. The film will see the titled creation of the Annabelle doll as it begins to terrorize a family and children from an orphanage. Oh, and the trailer is scary as shit.

 

The Hitman’s Bodyguard

The quintessential Samuel L. Jackson movie where it seems like he’ll be saying “mother fucker” every two seconds, this looks pretty damn hilarious. And you can’t go wrong with Jackson and Ryan Reynolds together.

 

Logan Lucky

Steven Soderbergh returns to the big screen with this pretty funny looking heist film. I’m sure seeing Daniel Craig play this goofball will be worth the price of admission alone.

 

Potential Reviews

The Glass Castle

Kidnap

 

So what are you looking forward toward the most this month?

June Movie Releases

Hi there!

Can you believe it’s already June! How the time passes by. Anyway, the second month of the Summer Movie Season goes into full swing and, just like May, brings with it some highly anticipated movies. Let’s take a look shall we?

 

2nd

Captain Underpants (Animation – 20th Century Fox/DreamWorks Animation/Scholastic Entertainment)

Based on the popular kids books by Dav Pilkey, two mischievous kids hypnotize their mean high school principal and turn him into their comic book creation, the kind-hearted and elastic-banded Captain Underpants (voiced by Ed Helms). The voice cast also includes Thomas Middleditch, Jordan Peele, Kevin Hart, Kristen Schaal, and Nick Kroll.

 

Wonder Woman (Action – Warner Bros./DC Entertainment/Dune Entertainment/Atlas Entertainment/Cruel & Unusual Films)

Directed by Patty Jenkins, an Amazonian princess (Gal Gadot) leaves her island home to explore the world and, in doing so, becomes one of the world’s greatest heroes. This has been a long time coming, but Wonder Woman is finally on the big screen with her own film, and it looks awesome. The film also stars Chris Pine, Robin Wright, Connie Nielsen, David Thewlis, Elena Anaya, Ewen Bremner, Elanor Matuura, Said Taghmaoui, Samantha Jo, and Danny Huston.

 

 

9th

Limited Release: My Cousin Rachel

Based on the novel by Daphne Du Maurier, and adapted by Roger Michell. A young Englishman plots revenge against his mysterious, beautiful cousin, believing that she murdered his guardian. But his feeling become complicated as he finds himself falling under the beguiling spell of her charms. The film stars Sam Claflin, Rachel Weisz, Holliday Grainger and Iain Glen.

 

 

Megan Leavey (Biography War Drama – Bleecker Street Media, LD Entertainment) 

Based on the true life story of a young Marine Corporal whose unique discipline and bond with her military combat dog saved many lived during their deployment in Iraq. The film Kate Mara, playing Megan Leavey, Common, Tom Felton, Will Patton, Ramon Rodriguez, Edie Falco and Bradley Whitford.

 

It Comes At Night (Horror Mystery – A24, Animal Kingdom)

Secure within a desolate home as an unnatural threat terrorizes the world, a man has established a tenuous order with his wife and son, but this will soon be put to test when a desperate young family arrives seeking refuge. The film looks completely eerie and one of those films I can’t wait to see now that trailer has been released. It Comes At Night stars Joel Edgerton, Riley Keough, Carmen Ejogo, Christopher Abbot and Kelvin Harrison Jr.

 

 

The Mummy (Action Adventure – Universal Pictures, Sean Daniel Company, K/O Paper Products)

The start of the new shared Monsters Universe that Universal is setting up, an ancient queen (Sofia Boutella) is awaked from her crypt beneath the desert, bringing with her malevolence grown over millennia, and terrors that defy human comprehension. The film stars Tom Cruise, Annabelle Wallis, Jake Johnson, Courtney B. Vance, Javier Botet and Russell Crowe as Dr. Henry Jekyll.

 

 

16th

Limited Release: The Book of Henry (Drama)

Colin Trevorrow returns to his smaller indie side with The Book of Henry that follows a single mother (Naomi Watts) raising a child genius (Jaeden Lieberher) that turns into something a little more darker. I honestly thought this was going to be a typical indie drama film, but once I saw the trailer it was something completely different, and honestly I don’t know how I feel. I am going to watch it, but my expectations have done a complete 180. The Book of Henry also stars Jacob Tremblay, Lee Pace, Sarah Silverman, Maddie Ziegler, Bobby Moynihan and Dean Norris.

 

47 Meters Down (Horror Thriller – Dimension Films, Tea Shop & Film Company, thefyzz)

Two sisters (Mandy Moore and Claire Holt), vacationing in Mexico, are trapped in a shark cage at the bottom of the ocean, with less than an hour of oxygen left and great white sharks circling nearby. The film also stars Matthew Modine.

 

 

All Eyez on Me (Biography Drama – Lionsgate, Summit Entertainment, Morgan Creek Productions, Program Pictures, Codeblack Entertainment)

Follows Tupac Shakur’s career from his time at Death Row Records, his involvement in the rivalry between East coast and West coast rappers, to his murder in 1996. I’m sure the audience will be there, but the trailer didn’t really hook me in, and what’s worst, is that it looks like a straight to TV movie. Hopefully it’s good for those that end up watching it. The film stars Demetrius Shipp Jr., Danai Gurira, Kat Graham, Annie Ilonzeh, Dominic L. Santana, Jamal Woolard, Cory Hadrict and Lauren Cohan.

 

 

Rough Night (Comedy – Sony Pictures/Paulilu Productions)

A male stripper ends up dead at a Miami beach house during a bachelorette party weekend. The film stars Scarlett Johansson, Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell, Ilana Glazer, Zoe Kravitz, Colton Haynes, Dean Winters, Ty Burrell and Demi Moore.

 

Cars 3 (Animation – Walt Disney Pictures/Pixar Animation Studios)

Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) sets out to prove to a new generation of racers that he’s still the best race car in the world. The newest trailer really goes away from the darker toned teasers, which I’m kind of bummed about, but knew that was going to be the case.

 

 

21st

Transformers: The Last Knight (Action – Paramount Pictures/Hasbro)

Humans and Transformers are at war, Optimus Prime is gone. The key to saving our future lies buried in the secrets of the past in the hidden history of Transformers on Earth. I just can’t with this franchise anymore. I really can’t.

 

 

23rd

Limited Release: The Bad Batch (Sci-Fi Romance)

A dystopian love story in a Texas wasteland and set in a community of cannibals. The film has a rather impressive cast of Keanu Reeves, Jason Momoa, Diego Luna, Giovanni Ribisi, Suki Waterhouse, and Jim Carrey.

 

 

Limited Release: The Beguiled

Based on Thomas Cullinan’s novel, and directed and written by Sofia Coppola, while imprisoned in a Confederate girls’ boarding school, an injured Union solider cons his way into each of the lonely women’s hearts, causing them to turn on each other, and eventually, on him. The film stars Colin Farrell, Kirsten Dunst, Nicole Kidman, Elle Fanning, Angourie Rice, and Oona Laurence.

 

 

Limited Release: The Big Sick (Comedy Romance)

Based on the true story of writers Emily V. Gordon and Kumail Nanjiani, a couple (Nanjiani playing himself while Zoe Kazan playing his wife, Emily) deals with their cultural differences as their relationship grows. The film also stars Holly Hunter, Ray Romano, Adeel Akhtar, Kurt Braunohler and Linda Emond.

 

28th

Baby Driver (Action Thriller – Sony Pictures, TriStar Pictures, Working Title Films, Media Rights Capital)

Edgar Wright directs this film about a getaway driver named Baby (Ansel Elgort), who plays his own soundtrack due to a condition he has. However, he finds himself taking part of a heist doomed to fail and everyone after him. The film also stars Lily James, Jon Hamm, Jamie Foxx, Eiza Gonzalez, Jon Bernthal and Kevin Spacey.

 

 

30th

Amityville: The Awakening (Horror – The Weinstein Company/Dimension Films/Miramax/Blumhouse Productions/Panic Ventures)

A single mother (Jennifer Jason Leigh) moves her three children into a haunted house, unaware of its bloody history. I really hope this finally comes out, not necessarily because I want to see it, but because this film has been moved around so many times I think it’s best to just release it and take the hit. The film also stars Bella Thorne, Cameron Monaghan, Taylor Spreitler, Thomas Mann, Mckenna Grace and Kurtwood Smith.

 

 

The House (Comedy – Warner Bros./Village Roadshow Pictures/Gary Sanchez Productions)

A dad convinces his friends to start an illegal casino in his basement after he and his wife spend their daughter’s college fund. Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Allison Tolman, Andrea Savage, Rob Hubel, and Sam Richardson.

 

 

Despicable Me 3 (Animation – Universal Pictures/Illumination Entertainment)

Gru (Steve Carell) has to stop Balthazar Bratt (Trey Parker), a child star from the 1980s, who has a scheme to take over the world. However, he also has to deal with his long lost brother. The voice cast also includes Kristen Wiig, Miranda Cosgrove, Dana Gaier, Nev Scharrel, Steve Coogan and Russell Brand.

 

 

What are you looking forward to?

New Podcast: Ben Affleck Leaves Director’s Chair of Batman, Aquaman Gets Two More Actors & More

The new podcast is up, and I get just a tad fired up

New Podcast: This Weeks Trailers – Spider-Man: Homecoming, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Baywatch and More

The Movie Pit Podcast is live!